February 25, 2009

Meme time: Wikipedia names your band

The title above is a link to an item on the A.V. Club blog that presents the following meme:
Here's a totally random way to make your new random band's new random album cover. Post one! Go to “Wikipedia.” Hit “random” and the first article you get is the name of your band. Then go to “Random Quotations” and the last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album. Then, go to Flickr and click on “Explore the Last Seven Days” and the third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

If you're like me, this sounds like a totally fun way to kill an hour at work when your boss is out of town and half the office is out sick not that I would ever do that.

So here's my cover, put together totally on my own time I assure you:


In my imagination, boat-billed heron (we were too cool for majuscule letters) was a No Wave band living in Alphabet City in the early 1980s. We played some killer shows at ABC No Rio, put out contemplate what is happening in 1982, and were asked by Thurston Moore personally to open for Sonic Youth on the Confusion Is Sex tour, but tragically our lead singer was found frozen to death in his squat just a few days before the tour was to start.

Did you know that the boat-billed heron is an atypical member of the heron family? That's vital, because I would never have a band named after a typical heron. They're so fucking typical, you know?

I have to tell you that the article on the boat-billed heron was actually the third random article I clicked on, because, totally improbably, the first two were actual musical acts. Also, I cheated on the photo, because my first one was a lovely shot of a mourning dove among spring blossoms, and I didn't feel right about using it. Mourning doves are my favorite birds, and I feel like I have a spiritual connection with them. Don't judge me. So I refreshed the page to get the photo above, but I'm glad I did, because how well does it work with that title?

February 16, 2009

Bunny is funny

A couple of years ago, journalist Christopher Hitchens wrote a piece for Vanity Fair titled "Why Women Aren't Funny". As he no doubt intended, it stirred up a bunch of shit and prompted lots of rebuttals (just a sample from the first page of Google results), including one in VF itself. To me it seems like the kind of thing that's hardly worth the time and energy rebutting, since it's 1) clearly meant to provoke ire rather than thought, and B) stupid. I haven't read a whole lot of Hitchens's stuff, but what I have read has led me to think of him as the male Ann Coulter (insert, if you must, your own joke about how Ann Coulter is the male Ann Coulter): a writer who needs massive amounts of attention and has decided that being a humongous asshole is the way to get it

Anyway, he's certainly not the first guy to suggest that women aren't funny, a notion that's always mystified me. Besides the fact that there are lots of famous funny women, I've known plenty of non-famous ones personally. In fact, I dare say the funniest person I've ever known was a chick. But of course, I'm a chick. Hitchens is not, and it can't be coincidental that the only people I've ever heard claiming chicks aren't funny have been dudes. The real issue is not that women aren't funny, but that a lot of men--the majority of men, perhaps--think that women aren't funny. Of course, humor is totally subjective anyway, so how many people have to think you're not funny before you can be deemed objectively unfunny? I don't know. How many licks does it take to get to the center of the patriarchal paradigm? How many misogynists can dance on the head of Christopher Hitchens's tiny, flaccid penis? And while we're at it, why does the word "flaccid" only ever seem to be used in reference to penises? These are all unanswerable questions.

Hitchens does admit that "it could be that in some way men do not want women to be funny. They want them as an audience, not as rivals." I believe this is true. I think most people believe it's true, whether consciously or (more likely) unconsciously, and it's the playing out of that belief that causes the general perception of women as unfunny. (I'm about to speak in rash generalizations here, but since that's the general tenor of discourse on gender relations, let's all just play along.) Men tend to view being funny like they view most things, as a competition. Moreover, it's a competition that every man believes he can win. Something like, say, physical attractiveness is largely a matter of genetics, so there's not a whole lot a man can do to change his place in the hotness hierarchy, but being the funniest person in the room is something every guy can aspire to. (Some of them, in my experience, aspire to an annoying fucking degree.) It's bad enough that they already have to compete against every other dude out there; adding women to the mix doubles the odds against any one dude being the funniest person he knows. The solution is denial and dismissal: women are not funny, regardless of any evidence to the contrary. Say it loud enough and long enough, and it becomes the truth. Or, I should say, "the truth".

For their part, women are culturally inculcated with the belief that their value is determined by how much attention men pay to them. They learn that they should never enter into direct competition with a man or men, as this will wound the fragile masculine ego--there is literally nothing worse for most men than to lose to a woman in any endeavor--and cause male attention to be withdrawn. It never fails to amaze me how even the funniest women tend to eschew humor when in the company of men. This, of course, only strengthens the proposition that "women aren't funny".

I'm thinking about all this in light of a movie I watched this weekend: The House Bunny. I rented it, even though the critical reaction to it was mostly negative, for one reason: Anna Faris. Actually, let's make that one and a half reasons: Faris and Emma Stone. Stone counts as half a reason because the only other thing I'd seen her in was Superbad, in which she had a minor role but definitely caught my eye as someone to watch. Based on her adorably dorky performance in THB, I now think she's a pretty good reason to watch a movie in her own right.

Anna Faris came to prominence (if you can call it that) in those Wayans Brothers Scary Movie movies, of which I have seen nary a one, but she first garnered critical notice in Lost in Translation, one of my favorite films of the last decade. Her role as a ditzy actress (purportedly based on Cameron Diaz) was small, but her performance was dazzling. Wanting to see more of her, I actually watched--and I know I risk being openly mocked for admitting this--the execrable Rob Schneider vehicle The Hot Chick not once but twice when it was on FX one weekend. Then, based soley on the fact that Faris was the lead in it, I rented the little-known and even-less-seen stoner comedy Smiley Face. As stoner comedies go, Smiley Face is no Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, but it was at least as funny as Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, and as far as I know it's the only flick in the genre with a female main character (and heaven knows ladies like the wacky weed just as much as gents).

Which brings us to The House Bunny. As I alluded to above, my expectations for it were pretty low going in, so I was quite surprised to find myself laughing loudly and often throughout. Mind you, I'm not here to claim that it's on a par with Dr. Strangelove or Some Like It Hot or [insert other acknowledged comedy classic], but it's one of the funnier films I've seen in the past couple of years, and I watch a lot of comedies, because I like to laugh, and there's not always a lot to laugh about in quotidian life.

This woman is hilarious.


Given my reaction, I thought it would be interesting to do a little comparison between THB and a few of the more high-profile and better-reviewed comedies of the past few years. I went to Rotten Tomatoes, which aggregates the reviews of major critics and assigns movies a "freshness" rating that represents the percentage of reviewers with a favorable opinion of them. While I was at it, I also looked at each movie's total box office gross. The movies I looked at were the aforementioned Superbad, Knocked Up, Tropic Thunder, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I picked these because I had seen them, and because I thought The House Bunny was funnier than all of them.

The critics, of course, disagree. I already mentioned that
THB was largely panned; it has only a 40% freshness rating. And audiences pretty much stayed away: its total gross was $48 million. On the other hand, Tropic Thunder gets 83% and earned $110 million; Sarah Marshall scores 85% and took in $63 million; Superbad comes in at 87% with $121 million; and Knocked Up is the comedy king with a whopping 91% favorable rating and receipts of $148 million. That is one hundred freakin' million dollars more than THB, kids.

So what's up with this? Why did I enjoy the movie everyone hated (or at least was indifferent to) more than the ones everyone loved? Some of it, I'm sure, has to do with the heightened expectations I had for the well-reviewed movies, and the lowered ones for
THB. Some of it could be due simply to the fact that humor is, as I said above, subjective. Maybe my sense of humor is just different. But I can't help thinking that the whole "women aren't funny" thing plays a role here. After all, THB focuses on female characters, with men relegated to small roles as potential love interests. The other movies are, as is the norm, just the opposite. (Tropic Thunder is pretty much just dudes, though that's understandable given its milieu.) Did THB flop, critically and commercially, solely on its merits (or lack thereof), or did the fact that it's about women--who you will remember are not funny--color viewers' perceptions, causing some to see the film itself as unfunny and many others not to see it all? I think you can probably guess where I come down on that question. Oh, it's also worth noting that the majority of film critics are dudes, and that one major defender of the film was Salon's Stephanie Zacharek (a chick, if that wasn't clear).

I don't want to belabor my point (and I know my posts are already too long), but just as a side note: when you look at the channel guide on Comcast, the movies that are listed have star ratings, OK? Well, did you know that Drop Dead Gorgeous gets only one star? That ticks me off every time I see it.
For those who haven't seen it, DDG is a mockumentary about a Minnesota beauty pageant. Since Christopher Guest is the acknowledged king of mockumentaries, I tend to compare other entries in the genre to his films. DDG is not as funny as Waiting for Guffman, Guest's masterpiece, but it's as funny as Best in Show and funnier than A Mighty Wind. All of those get three stars from Comcast. Their casts are gender-mixed, but skew toward the male (and were written by a male--jeez, I haven't even gotten into the gender of writers. Suffice it to say that the two writers of The House Bunny had probably synched up their cycles by the end of the project), while DDG's cast is populated almost exclusively by women (and it was written by a woman). COINCIDENCE?! I think not. Plus, come on, there is no way a movie that has Denise Richards dancing with a life-size Jesus doll gets only one star.

I don't know, man. Maybe I'm making misoygnist mountains out of innocent molehills here. All I do know is that
Knocked Up sucked ass, and that I'm looking forward to watching The House Bunny again.