November 22, 2006

Is that a woody in your hoody?

When I was growing up, the article of clothing now universally referred to as a hoodie (or possibly hoody) was simply called a sweatshirt, just like it's non-hooded relative. I'm not complaining about this neologism at all; I think hoodie is a fine addition to the English language. Now we have a way to differentiate the hooded item from the non-hooded one.

Because I didn't grow up using the term hoodie, though, whenever I hear it I react in a way I don't when I hear the names of other articles of clothing. Specifically, I immediately get a snatch of song lyrics in my head. More specifically, lyrics from "Pop Goes the Weasel"--not the children's song, mind you, but the anti-Vanilla Ice diatribe from erstwhile rappers 3rd Bass. "In the hoody with the woody/Buy a disco tape at Sam Goody," says Pete Nice.

Except he doesn't. Turns out what he actually says is, "Buy a disc or tape at Sam Goody." For some reason this is incredibly disappointing to me. It's like, the way I thought it was written sets up this great image of hopeless unhipness--buying crappy music (yes, DISCO STILL SUCKS, with the noted exception of KC and the Sunshine Band) in an obsolete format from a shopping mall chain store--that supports the song's overall theme, which is that Vanilla Ice is hopelessly unhip. But the way it's actually written, it seems like it's just a cute rhyme.

The only other time this phenomenon occurs--the Instantly-Getting-Rap-Lyrics-in-my-Head-When-I-Hear-a-Certain-Word Phenomenon--is when someome mentions UPS, which my boss does sometimes because he worked there when he was younger. Then I get a stanza from (the awesome) Biz Markie's (awesome) "The Vapors", in which Biz gets back at all the losers who dissed him and his crew before they were famous, in this case a girl who wouldn't go out with his friend T.J. Swan: "The type of female with fly Gucci wear/With big trunk jewelry and extensions in her hair/When Swan tried to kick it, she always fessed/Talkin' about 'nigga, please, you work for UPS.'"

There's a related phenomenon, the Instantly-Getting-Rap-Lyrics-in-my-Head-When-I-See-Someone's-Face Phenomenon, which only happens with John McEnroe. Then, of course, it's this (immortal) couplet from House of Pain's (immortal) "Jump Around": "I'll serve your ass like John McEnroe/If your girl steps up I'm smackin' the ho." I have to say, that line is stoopid and misogynistic and I hope Everlast regrets it, but come on: he rhymes "McEnroe" with "SMACKIN' THE HO." That's pure genius.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.